If I still feel this way by the end of the year, I know what I’ll do.
Originally, I had planned to walk him outside the band room and tell him very calmly that I love him and that I want him to have a happy life and that I’ll never see him again. The afternoon light would play on his look of confusion. If all went well, I would hug him or shake his hand and wish him a good life. If all failed, I would walk back into the band room and try to forget him.
But now I have something else in mind.
A note in his locker. Simple, anonymous, perfect. He would never know it was from me.
“I’ve been crushing on you since September,” it would say. No signature. I’d write it in my left hand, or maybe type it up. No, not typed; it would be too insensitive. A folded note, no hearts or anything. An easy way to let him out. And I’d ask him to do something. He’d bring up Spock in class. Or talk about cell phones. Something that would let me know he got my note. But he wouldn’t ever know it was from me.
I would walk up to his locker when everyone was gone from the band room. Or maybe I’d pretend I was talking with someone. And I’d slip it through the slats. Just like that. And I’d walk out, waiting to go home, wondering if I had the right locker.
And if he ever did bring up Spock, I’d try not to smile or get red. That would give it all away. But I do want him to know. Anonymously, that is.
“I’ve been crushing on you since September,” it would say. No hearts or anything.
Just a note and that’s all.
